Poem : “That Wish To Die”

The noise of the heart vanished
And the blood ran cold
Eyes stuck at the broken ceiling
Hands tucked in the old blanket

Tomorrow is another day
For one last time, close the petals of my sight
And then no one would have to make my silver hair
Or to dust off the paralysed bedsheets

People too might pour in
Pitying on the old lady who was once young
Whispering everything about nothing they know
“She was a nice woman, after all”

Tears, nestles, cries and water
All the game at the service of a funeral
They stitch a white outfit for my soul
They dig a new home for the body

I listen to things that I can’t recall
I feel the emotions that were missing before
And many feet trample the forever quiet stairs
That go up to my room, or went up there

My gown was odorous, but this coffin smells sweet
It’s getting colder still, but it’s okay
The scarf is bit wrong at place, but it’s fine
Amazing how the feet are covered this time

My ride won’t be a wheel chair this time
But it is how it is supposed to be
I can recognise the palms that give me support
I am sorry, you all had to do this sport

I know, I know it is evening and it’s time
Goodbyes feel better and warmer in the dark
Sounds of the moans fade as it rains
A journey peaceful that none before

Crickets and men, the scent of moist mud
Aroma of rose petals and a gentle layoff
Something piles up on me and something falls down
From the first tricycle to the last stretcher

I am already missing the nostalgic dawns
The tasteless and lonely suppers of dusk
The needles, the pills, the nurse’s crude face
Those occasional rude visits, and that wish to die